Parents face difficult task of letting go
At Syracuse University, where ‘fall’ is merely an acronym for Frats And Lots of Liquor, the new school year is a cue for incoming and returning undergrads to gear up for a semester of grueling studying and partying, not necessarily in that order. But for every textbook reading, keg standing and midday napping student, there is at least one parent who has a hard time letting go, be it of their fledgling freshmen or seasoned senior.
Leaving home for the first (or fourth) time can be trying on all parties involved, but parents tend to feel the brunt of the separation more than their newly emancipated children. Ryan Ackerson, an undecided freshman in the Martin J. Whitman School of Management, said his parents have thrown themselves into a string of new houses to distract attention away from the giant void that was once three high school kids.
‘I think it was hard on my mom because I was the last one to go,’ Ackerson said. ‘The moving project is helping ease the pain.’
Freshman civil engineering major Wyatt Wolfram said his parents are in much the same boat.
‘The house is too quiet; the rooms are too neat and the gallon of milk lasts for more than a day,’ lamented his mother, Mary Wolfram, who lost her eldest daughter to graduate school the week after Wyatt moved into his SU dorm. ‘A year ago I would have killed for this, but now it just makes me sad.’
One may think parents would celebrate the departure of their kids – ecstatic at the thought of a quieter house, fewer trips to the grocery store and more free time. But it’s important to understand that no matter how much they complained about it throughout high school, the ‘rents secretly enjoyed having the whole basketball team playing Madden in the living room until 3 a.m., and they actually miss attending the games, plays and banquets that stretched their schedules so thin.
That’s not to say parents are the only ones suffering from the post-moving out melancholy. Some freshmen have had a rough time coping with a new home completely devoid of the TLC once afforded by Mom and Dad.
‘I cried the whole car ride up, and I’m still pretty homesick,’ said freshmen biology major Molly Carleen. Carleen admitted the separation has gotten easier with time and added, ‘I really only call my parents if I need something.’
Sophomore advertising major Christi Tronetti knows the benefits of a painless call home. ‘My parents are more likely to send me extra cash and Ramen if I give them a call once in a while,’ she said.
As for the Thursday through Saturday night merrymaking that occurs across campus all year long regardless of rain, sleet or any amount of snow, most undergrads rely on a firm ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy with parents.
‘My parents know I go out, but they have no idea that I come back and puke in the kitchen sink and stuff,’ said Wolfram, who knows that knowledge of this kind of behavior would elicit long-winded lectures about recklessness and wastefulness from Mom or Dad.
Steve Miller, a junior chemistry major, suggested getting involved as a way of thwarting parental anxieties.
‘If your parents know you’re involved in academic clubs, intramural sports or other outside activities and not just sitting around in your room, they’re less likely to bother you all the time,’ said the Flint Hall resident adviser.
