How to start a catch phrase…
It happened at a beach house.
I asked my brother where to put the deck of cards we had just played with. His response changed my world:
‘Bend over, and I’ll show you.’
What?
I was completely shocked. Then I laughed my butt off.
For the rest of the summer, ‘Bend over, and I’ll show you’ was my default answer to any question.
Hey Danny, where are you going tonight?’ Bend over, and I’ll show you.
‘Hey Danny, how do you play Yahtzee?’ Bend over, and I’ll show you. ‘Hey Danny, where do babies come from?’ You get the idea.
However, when I tried explaining this to a friend of mine at school, the message just didn’t get through.
‘It’s clever, funny and after a little time it’s gonna be huge,’ I told her about my new catchphrase.
Her response: ‘That’s what she said.’
You see, Syracuse University already has its own ubiquitous interchangeable sex joke. Popularized by Steve Carell from ‘The Office,’ ‘That’s what she said’ fits into just about any context.
Whether it’s the classic ‘This (fill in the blank) is huge,’ the well-known ‘That’s never gonna fit in there’ or the lesser-used ‘Get this crap off my leg,’ a well-placed ‘That’s what she said’ is sure to earn a few laughs.
Unfortunately for all of its strengths, this age-old phrase is incredibly flawed.
First of all, it’s way overused. Yes, it’s funny if used properly, but the average conversation has at least five ‘That’s what she said’ opportunities. After a while it gets pretty annoying to hear your friends make a penis joke every time you call something ‘big,’ ‘long’ or ‘hairy.’
Also, the phrase gets misused constantly. The other night I told a friend of mine to stop talking with his mouth full of food. He proceeded to spray barbecue sauce all over my face as he yelled, ‘Vast wut fee shed!’ (Translation: ‘That’s what she said’). I wanted to smack him in the face with an Italian sausage.
This is why I propose a change to the SU lexicon. It’s high time we do away with Dunder Mifflin’s antiquated business vernacular, and move into the future with a sexual innuendo worthy of our generation. What is it, you ask?
Bend over and I’ll show you.
Come on, this is our chance! College campuses throughout the land will pay homage to our student body when we finally free them from their ‘That’s what she said’ shackles. ‘Bend over and I’ll show you’ is a way better joke, and here’s why:
It’s new. There aren’t any stale ‘Bend over and I’ll show you’ jokes yet because it’s not popular. It’s just like swine flu: It’s not on campus yet, but once it hits, people will go nuts. And maybe develop a rash.
It’s hard to misuse. ‘Bend over and I’ll show you’ has a well-defined consexual place. Unless you’re using it to answer a question, you sound like a complete idiot. It’s not like a yellow traffic light – it will actually serve its intended purpose.
It’s great for icebreakers. ‘What’s your name?’ Danny. ‘Your major?’ Broadcast journalism. ‘Do you have any interesting hobbies or special talents?’ Hehe…
Orange faithful, if we band together and give this a shot, we can make history. This joke is far more than a trend – it’s a revolution. It will make our lives richer, our conversations livelier, and our sense of humor raunchier.
If nothing else, you’ll know what to say the next time your doctor asks you if you’re sexually active.
Danny Fersh is a sophomore broadcast journalism major. His humor columns appear every Wednesday, but this article was a team effort: Shelly, Abram, Josh, Neph, Josh and Hock came up huge on Monday night. (That’s what she said). He can be reached at dafersh@syr.edu.
