Joke’s on you: In honor of April Fools’ day, try these six SU-themed pranks
In honor of April Fools’ Day, The Daily Orange presents six prank proposals that are sure to get your knickers in a boot.
Attending Syracuse University offers plenty of unique pranks for April Fools’ Day. With such a large campus and student population, it’s almost too easy to strike at either friend or foe. While the list could go on forever, here are some of the best pranks you’d be hard-pressed to find at any other university. Whoopee cushion not included.
1. ‘The Fill-it O’ Fish:’
Materials: 1 fish, 1 freezer and/or bucket of liquid nitrogen
Description: Have an unfair professor who just won’t postpone that exam you’re not ready for? Have no fear! Simply go to the nearest fish market and find the foulest-smelling piece of seafood in the joint (whole fish preferable, fillet acceptable in some cases). Then, leave it in a freezer overnight or dip it in a bucket of liquid nitrogen until it’s frozen solid. The morning before your class, strap on some rubber gloves, walk into your classroom and shatter the frozen fish on the classroom floor. When your professor walks into the room, sees bits of shattered fish all over the floor and smells the seafood stank that comes with it, he/she will have no choice but to postpone the class. This prank also works with cats, puppies, road kill, rotten fruit, West Virginia University fans, etc.
2. ‘The Whizz Frisbee’
Materials: Cold weather, Frisbee, urine
Description: At a chilly university like SU, it’s important for a true prankster to take advantage of the sub-arctic climate that engulfs us each winter. So, when the thermometer dips below freezing, walk outside, place an upside-down Frisbee at your feet, drop trow (privacy optional) and fill that flying disc with your excess bodily fluids. Leave it out over-night and retrieve it the next morning. You now have a frozen block of urine that you can slide under your residence adviser’s door, hurl at a random stranger or break into cubes to cool off your roommate’s vodka-cranberry-juice-and-urine cocktail.
3. ‘The Fashion Show’
Materials: 1 camera, film, 1 standard dormitory dresser
Description: A true prankster knows how to incorporate everyday objects into his or her efforts to terrify and humiliate another person. For instance, did you know that every residence hall dresser has the same size drawers? Armed with that knowledge, here’s what you can do: Sneak into your sexy yet snobby neighbor’s bedroom, take all of his/her underwear drawers back to your room and place them in your dresser. Then photograph yourself, your friends, the fat, hairy kid who lives down the hall, the 67-year-old custodial worker who mops your bathroom or whoever else you desire wearing your neighbor’s underwear. Print out the pictures, place them in your empty drawers and put those drawers in your neighbor’s dresser. The next time he or she goes to get dressed, your neighbor will get a fashion show to remember.
4. ‘The Bird Library’
Materials: 6 birds, 1 sharpie, bird seed
Need to blow off some steam at the site of those stressful all-nighters? Go to the nearest pet store and purchase half a dozen brightly colored birds. Label each of them with a name of one of the players in the SU men’s basketball team’s seven-man rotation and let ‘em loose throughout the building. By the time the staff realizes there are only six birds in the bunch, they’ll have spent so much time looking for a flying Scoop Jardine that they’ll hardly have time to clean up all the bird crap on the computer clusters. That’ll show them for charging two bucks a pop for the fax machine!
5. ‘The Lyon’s Den’
Materials: 1 phone, 1 (or more) annoying ‘friend’
Description: Everyone has that one annoying acquaintance who always tries to hang out on the weekend. Here’s how you show that creeper how you really feel: Start spreading a rumor about a big party next weekend at 401 Euclid Ave. Tell anyone who is friends with your creeper/stalker that it’s free admission for anyone that bring their own liquor and show it to the guy at the door. Then, when you get that inevitable text message at 11 p.m. asking where you’re headed for the night, tell the creeper you’re at the party his friends have already been hyping up all week. He’ll be super psyched to see you, right up to the moment he walks into 401 Euclid or, as it’s known to its residents, Lyons Hall.
6. ‘Orange Ball’
Materials: Orange paint, 1 bolt cutter
Tired of playing basketball at Archbold Gymnasium, where jerks who think they’re Wes Johnson yet shoot like Ray Charles hog the basketball and complain every possession? Here’s how you get back at them: Stake out the locker room until the usual suspects are laced up and ready to disgrace the basketball court. Then, break into their locker and replace their shampoo with orange paint. By the time their blood-curdling shrieks fill all of Archbold, you’ll be long gone with their Head and Shoulders. If those meatheads ever come after you, their florescent heads would be visible from a mile away.
