Braving the many forms of precipitation this weekend — hail, rain, snow, sleet, falling icicles — in the name of getting drunk reveals the many admirable qualities of Syracuse University students.

Determination, persistence and the ability to make irrational decisions in the face of a challenge are a few of these celebrated traits. SU students are kind of like the tortoise from the tortoise and the hare story: Both are at a disadvantage, but both come out on top.

Let me paint you a little picture. You’re a girl. It’s Friday night. You live on Lancaster Avenue, but your roommate just got a boyfriend and is planning to stay in with him all night, watching movies and eating carbs — you’ve let her know you’re deleting her BBM from your Blackberry as soon as she passes 140 pounds.

But no worries — your other friend lives in Castle Court and is having a prebar. And that guy you slept with is going to be there. This is the guy you told everyone you didn’t sleep with so they wouldn’t think you were a total skank, even though everyone already knows you did because he’s in a frat and e-mailed the entire house listserv about it. In other words, you have the motivation. You have to make it over there.

This is where that SU-student strength comes into play. You glance outside: It’s snowing heavily, and your street has not been plowed. It seems to also be raining at the same time, and large chunks of ice are strewn outside your house. Icicles the size of a small child hang off your roof and fall off at random, striking fear into passersby because they may be hit in the head and temporarily knocked unconscious.

Cars drive by from time to time, splashing mud and slush all over students walking in the direction of incoming traffic because the sidewalks are covered in slushy snow. When you went outside this morning, you wore a down jacket and rain boots and still managed to slip and fall on an old beer can hidden somewhere deep beneath the snow, right alongside your dignity.

Bearing all this in mind, you put on the shortest dress you own because all the important body parts are accentuated in this dress — remember that guy is going to be there. You slip into expensive, 5-inch stripper heels — five is your lucky number, and it could be his, too — and put on a light spring jacket, and then you head out.

As soon you come outside, you’re instantly so cold it feels as though some part of you has died. You take two steps forward, and your heels sink into a mass of fresh snow laying atop a huge patch of ice, on which you slip and fall, exposing your undergarments to the group of freshman guys conveniently walking by. You get back up and head on your way with the elegance and speed of a toddler taking his first steps. Nearly an hour later, you’ve made it to Walnut Avenue.

Your whole body is numb, one set of fake eyelashes has fallen off, and there’s no alcohol left. But on the bright side, you’re still alive! You have officially conquered nature. What’s a little bit of snow compared to a whole lot of awesome?

On Monday, dear SU student, you may wake up with pneumonia. But tonight, you’re feeling no pain. And several years from now, when your life gets made into a Lifetime movie special, maybe you can take a leaf out of 50 Cent’s book and call it ‘Get Drunk or Die Trying.’ Just a thought.

Marina Charny is a senior English and textual studies and writing major. Her columns appear every Monday. She can be reached at mcharny@syr.edu.

Published on February 5, 2011 at 12:00 pm