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There’re universal feelings that arise when we see an old friend on campus. Maybe you’re met with a wave of nostalgia and offer a friendly smile. Maybe seeing them causes your heart to sink. Maybe you don’t even remember their name.

It’s inevitable that, over the course of four years, the friends in your close circle rarely stay the same. That first month of school, we all meet people we’re convinced are going to be our best friends until graduation, and we find ourselves wondering how we’ll ever be able to part from them.

But, if you’re like me, this wasn’t the case. Of course, I became friends with some of the girls on my floor and in my classes, but as a senior, I met the people I’m close with much later.

Branching out and trying to make new friends can be incredibly daunting, especially in college, when so much of your time is dedicated to finding your footing and learning who you are. The difficulty of finding true friends only escalates when it feels like the people closest to you start growing into different people.

Watching your friends’ values and behavior shift in front of you can be jarring, and it can even feel like you’re trapped.

There’s no shame in admitting to yourself that the people close to you don’t make you feel as uplifted and supported as they once did. It’s valid to want to explore new circles and invest energy into new friendships. Putting endless effort into a relationship that isn’t making you feel good is draining. That energy could be better spent fostering new, more fulfilling friendships.

As a senior with only a few weeks left, I can say with full confidence that the people I’ve considered close friends have changed time and time again. While this shift once scared me and even made me feel like I was doing something wrong, I’ve come to realize that in building friendships with new people, I’ve unlocked more and more of myself.

So much of who we are is shaped by the people we spend our time with, and to be content with ourselves, we must be content with those around us.

Prioritizing your own happiness in relationships is crucial in college friendships, yet it’s often overlooked. When conflict arises or we feel ourselves drifting from people, we tend to worry about their happiness before our own. We wonder if we’re hurting them or making them feel abandoned.

But, it’s imperative we ask ourselves how we’re feeling, too. Focusing on our own reaction can reveal how we genuinely view a relationship.

My senior year has been jam-packed, and as I’ve bounced back and forth between classes, campus organizations and job applications on top of it all, I’ve found myself spending less and less time with many people I once considered close friends.

Instead, the little free time I did have was spent with a select few. At first, the realization made me uneasy, but that feeling was just the fear of leaving people behind. It wasn’t that I missed these people — it was quite the opposite. I was worried our drifting apart meant that our friendship had failed, but I’ve come to notice that a friendship dwindling isn’t necessarily a sign of failure. On the contrary, I now see it as a sign that energy is being put into a different friendship, one that brings much more happiness and support.

If I haven’t made myself clear enough, allow me to put it plainly: It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge that the people you were once close with are no longer the people you want to be close with. Nothing is tethering you to a group of people that don’t align with the values you hold near and dear. You don’t need a specific reason, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

It’s normal — and even expected — to drift apart from people while you’re in college. This is your time to explore who you are, and more importantly, who you want to be. If finding yourself means distancing yourself from people you once considered close friends, it only means new friends are on their way.

Gracie Lebersfeld is a senior majoring in selected studies in education and creative writing. She can be reached at gmlebers@syr.edu.

Published on April 8, 2026 at 8:45 pm