Friendships come from unexpected places. I found meaningful ones online.

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I’m from East Flatbush, Brooklyn, so at 14 years old, my mother didn’t want me going outside by myself. I also didn’t really know what I enjoyed yet, so I started filling my time in the only way I knew how — being chronically online.

In eighth grade, I made friends with a group of people I met through an online wrestling community, and to this day we’re still connected through an Instagram group chat. Yes, I said it: online friends.

We all originally bonded watching, critiquing and analyzing wrestling within this online community. Imagine mini group chats where there’s tiny friend groups within the app. Within this space, users make fictional wrestling promotions, shows and characters emulating a real promotion through writing and storytelling.

I met my friend group because I started a fictional newsletter analyzing wrestling shows on the app. I’d review shows on a monthly basis and compile them into one post for the community to react to.

My friends at the time had their own fictional wrestling promotion — called a ‘league’ in the app’s jargon — where they had their own characters and storylines. One day, they added me to a group called “The Chat,” and it’s been history since.

There’d be endless nights of us texting from sunfall to sunrise, making jokes and playing games like Jackbox while on call. Over the years, we’ve developed many inside jokes that wouldn’t make sense to the public.

We’ve survived the end of middle school, high school, the COVID-19 pandemic, college and early adulthood together, and we’re still growing closer.

It’s strange because we couldn’t be more different. I’m one of two Black people in the 11-person friend group and the second youngest — the rest of them are white and older. Ages vary, but we’re all 21-25 years old. Many of them started college before me and had experiences I couldn’t understand yet. Some are from the Midwest, one’s from Texas, some are from the suburbs in the Northeast — and yet, we still find ways to stay connected.

It’s funny how relationships can come in many forms. Friendships are beautiful. Similar to most beauties in life, they’re unpredictable and arrive by circumstances and proximity. In early life, proximity is a very big factor. But, as you grow, one of the best aspects of friendships is the ability to choose which relationships to nurture.

Depending on how you intend to live your life, professionally and personally, you can surround yourself with people who have traits you wish to adopt yourself.

There’s friends you’ve known for a long time, have grown with and some you eventually drift away from but still admire from a distance. There’s newer friends who only know the current version of you, so sometimes they can’t fully relate to problems you’re facing or don’t have the same patience.

Regardless of the problem, I know I can go into The Chat and let my friends know my struggles without judgment. Despite not physically inhabiting any space in my life, they’re people I can count on. They’re friends I love and appreciate.

We’ve witnessed one friend graduate college and pursue his master’s degree in psychology at Temple University. Now, he’s training to become a psychologist. Two of our friends decided college isn’t for them but are figuring things out. Three friends decided to pursue professional wrestling. One played Division I football at Duquesne University and recently graduated. One’s pursuing sports journalism, and I’m preparing to apply to journalism school. Life is moving, and it isn’t waiting for anyone.

A member of The Chat purchased their first apartment earlier this year. We all celebrated him, but then it hit me that we’re adults now. It made me appreciate them even more, because I truly feel regardless of how ugly life gets, they’re always going to have my back.

Most of us see the world differently, and it’s fun. We all share this very snarky, quick-witted humor. Our dynamic ranges from someone saying something unserious, a philosophical debate, a meme being sent, an old screenshot from our chats, all happening within one thread.

I believe it’s important to embrace all of your friendships, no matter how unorthodox they might be. They aren’t just my online friends — they’re my friends who I haven’t physically met yet, but I know once we do, we’ll have an amazing time together and create more memories.

Choose people who choose you and continue to nurture relationships that allow you to be yourself. Once you don’t have them anymore, you’ll miss it. I thank the online wrestling community for possibly giving me lifelong friends. Go out and pursue relationships that make life easier, because relationships shouldn’t feel forced or draining. It doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic, if it’s online or in person, foster relationships with those that truly care about you.

Trayson Blain is a senior majoring in psychology. He can be reached at tblain@syr.edu.

Published on November 11, 2026 at 11:53 pm