Smacked Hacks: Substandard cardinal 10 minutes expedite formality of D.O.’s 7th straight loss to WAER in yearly Media Cup
Oh, under a crescent moon many years ago, that sage sculptor of yore, W.C. Heinz, looked upon a basket-tossing precipice and turned to his compatriot, Red Smith, and offered, ‘Ya know, Redsie, I reckon there just might a reason we don’t play this game.’
And so the two squadrons of pupil media clashed and clamored across the oaken deck of one James Arthur Boeheim in the annual Media Cup, under the ivory semi-sphere once again on the eve of this very day, and, as has occurred now for a consecutive septuplet of affairs, the folks with the microphones from WAER tossed in more baskets than the Hacks from The Daily Orange. The final tally was 44-32, for those who care for such matters.
Yet … I submit the Talking Heads deserve such an outcome, for in one of our watery sphere’s orbit around the ball of fire, the chaps who orate for WAER will be manning the airwaves to describe the hurling and clouting for the central trio of stanzas of the lower legions of the men who play the game with the stick and horsehide sphere.
‘Neh, I’ll be making 10 times what those talking heads do when I get out of law school in 2015,’ offered Hack headmaster Michael J. Licker, who, despite matriculating from off our humble Hill, is still very much a charm to be around. ‘And I’ll also be the same quality of journalist as them, too. Which is to say, not one whatsoever.’
The victor of this tilt was decided soon after the officials heaved the ball skyward, as the Hacks from The D.O. failed to connect the leather-encapsulated air sphere to the hanging twine until 10 minutes had elapsed. Perhaps those D.O. fellows were distracted by the pink headgear of Talking Head Tom Davidson, or the fine fabric of their own general. Either way, the basket-tossing of Matt Martucci, who threw in a contest-best 14 tallies, and the brawn of Brandon Fierro paced the radio guys to a 15-4 lead.
The D.O. fellows, mired under the wayward heaves of Adam Kilgore, who scored as many points as stories WAER has broken (zero), fought back after the middle break in play, led by the Bearded Snazzler himself, Patrick DiSalvo, who scored a newspaper-best eight. That Michael Becker fellow, despite spraining his foot-to-leg joint, made a few from past ol’ Cousy’s Arc, and the Hacks found their squad behind by a scant six points.
But … oh … ’twas not be once more for the Newsprint Five, as their foul total rapidly passed their point margin, due largely the idiotic whistle-blowing a striped-shirted man named Blitz. Kilgore was chief among the culprits, and he soon reached the maximum limit of fouls. Kilgore’s final foul on Davidson brought to mind the image of Greg Favors whapping Donovan McNabb good and heavy years ago … except I’ll probably only write six columns on Kilgore’s blow.
Before all the time had elapsed off the time-teller, Talking Head T.J. Basalla, Rec Specs wrapped tightly around his bald dome, tossed in a basket that brought wondrous excitement to the WAER sideline, allowing the radio side a boisterous display that made one think one had seen men fly. But even that ostentation couldn’t dampen the spirit of the Daily Orange basket tossers.
‘Duuude, whatever,’ Licker said.
Uh-huh. Sometimes, that’s all ya need to hear.
In all seriousness, The Daily Orange appreciates Carrier Dome manager Pat Campbell for allowing its sports section and the WAER sports staff to play the annual Media Cup.
