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On the bus ride home from Syracuse University this fall break, I was brimming with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see my family and friends, but as I stepped off the bus at the Judy Blume rest stop in Wall Township, New Jersey, I realized I missed the town itself just as much.

I missed the familiarity of driving to my best friend’s house, visiting my old workplace and eating at my favorite breakfast spot. I expected everything to be exactly as I’d left it in August, only a few months ago, but the town I’ve lived in all my life felt different.

It was little things – like the houses I passed daily being painted different colors or the pizzeria across from my high school getting a new sign – that struck me. Together, all those small changes felt big, even though I likely wouldn’t have cared or even noticed them all if I hadn’t left.

Looking back, I think the reason I was so bothered was much less shallow. Being home again showed me how much the people in my life have changed, too, and I’ve been grappling with acceptance of those changes since my return to campus.

A lot of my friends attend Rutgers University, not too far from our hometown, so I began my break by visiting them for a day.

It was exciting to see everyone and hear about the many wonderful changes they were embracing in their lives. I noticed they’d each developed their own style a little more, discovered new interests and held themselves in a more relaxed, naturally confident fashion.

They were still the people I loved, and maybe even more themselves at college than I had seen them before.

Still, I felt out of place. I had trouble keeping up with the conversation. We’d all experienced the same changes that come with going to college, but my friends were having these experiences at the same place, making inside jokes and telling stories I wasn’t a character in.

It was difficult to keep track of all the new people and places they were talking about. They were clearly happy and thriving, but another part of me felt guilty about not being there for these moments, especially since we’d been bonded for so long.

I’d known each of them for at least four years, with the longest friendship being 13 years. I’ve been by their side during the good and bad moments of what is arguably the most overwhelming period of a teenager’s life.

I realized that I now had to take a step back and watch them develop their identities from afar.

As happy as I am for them, it’s hard not to feel a little left out. I’m having an incredible time here at SU, but seeing my best friends building so many memories made me wonder what other monumental aspects of their lives I was missing out on.

When I came back home after visiting my friends, I noticed the same thing was happening with my younger brother. He was no longer a moody teenager shrugging off hugs and hanging out in his room all day, but instead, he was growing into a more mature version of himself.

Joe Zhao | Senior Staff Photographer

He’s taken on most of the household responsibilities that I used to do, and he opts to spend more time with my parents and me. He’s also becoming a good driver, carting my family around with an ease he certainly didn’t have when he began learning over the summer.

On the way back to Judy Blume at the end of break, we passed some of those re-painted houses again. I contemplated that last summer at home, and I realized the houses actually looked brighter and homier than the versions I was familiar with.

It made me recognize how much I, too, have changed since my last summer home, and that doesn’t have to be such a scary thing.

I feel like I’ve become more in touch with my emotions and matured a great deal. My childhood friends aren’t the only ones with new stories, as I’ve found the confidence to try so many things I never would’ve considered in high school. As good as my brother has gotten at driving, I’ve found myself becoming more productive and active in various clubs on campus.

I’m learning to remind myself of this evolution because it’s what allows me to enjoy myself more and be proud of the person I’ve become. Even more so when I’m overwhelmed by changes in the life I’ve left at home.

As sad as it is to accept, our relationships with our loved ones and even past versions of ourselves will always adapt over time. Learning to embrace that can make the changes exhilarating.

Hannah Hewitson is a freshman majoring in journalism. She can be reached at hrhewits@syr.edu

Published on October 22, 2025 at 9:38 pm