How SU’s ‘grandparents’ built community through weekly ‘Friendship Luncheons’
Through the "Friendship Luncheon” at Hendricks Chapel, Suresh and Ramani Thiagarajan have become Syracuse University's grandparents. The couple has spent over 40 years serving hot meals on campus, creating community for all students. Courtesy of Dara Harper
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After spending over 40 years serving hot meals on campus, Suresh Thiagarajan and his wife, Ramani Thiagarajan, feel like the “grandparents” of Syracuse University.
The two convene every Thursday in Hendricks Chapel for a “Friendship Luncheon,” where members of all faiths come together to share a meal. Ramani said students have motivated them to return to SU every year. She said their greatest joy is meeting young people, as they bring “life” and “hope” to the school.
“We wanted to be where people were giving up hope, so we could give it back,” Suresh said.
The luncheons began after T.E. Koshy, who died in 2012, returned to campus as the Evangelical Chaplain. He noticed international students felt disconnected, his son Jay Koshy said. T.E. decided to cook food and bring it to the students’ dorms. Suresh and Ramani became involved early on, becoming an “integral part” of the event, Jay said. Since then, the community has convened every week.
Suresh said his mother was devoted to serving her community in India, which gave him a desire to help those around him. He said his goal is to bring “hope” to the SU community.
“Whatever days I have, I want to give it back to God,” Suresh said.
Both Suresh and Ramani said their religious upbringing cemented their inclination to help others and motivated them to support the community. The couple got married in 1975 and moved to Syracuse that same year after T.E. asked them to work for him. Suresh called the opportunity “out-of-this-world.”
For the past 43 years, the couple has dedicated every day of their lives to the local community.
Dara Harper, communications manager at Hendricks, said the luncheon is a place for community building. She said Suresh and Ramani’s care for every student has made Hendricks feel welcoming.
Harper said many students, faculty and staff, including herself, go to Hendricks every week to speak with the Thiagarajans, even if just for a few minutes. Celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, she said Suresh and Ramani’s love is felt throughout the Chapel, with the same care and heart being given to every new student, the same as 40 years ago.
“It’s just very special when people are very committed to what they do and committed to being good stewards of the life they have been given,” Harper said.
Clarissa Karki, a first-year graduate student at SU, heard about the luncheon through friends and was enticed based on one simple premise: free lunch. After knowing the Thiagarajans for only two weeks, she said she found them incredibly kind. After their first encounter, the couple invited Karki to a pumpkin patch.
“They are some of the warmest people you can ever know,” Karki said. “They welcome everyone.”
Suresh said their friendship doesn’t just end with the luncheons. He spoke of former SU students whom he and his wife recently visited in Thailand. Maintaining relationships, even in their home countries, is something the Thiagarajans enjoy doing with as many students as possible, he said.
Jay said he’s seen an international “ripple effect” from Suresh and Ramani’s efforts with many other colleges starting similar events on their campuses, giving credit to the Thiagarajans as inspiration. The effect was international because students took values and ideas out of the country when they left. Jay said other campus ministries have told him the luncheon is one of the “largest” lunch events taking place in North America.
As the years go on, several Hendricks faculty members said they hope to see the luncheon continue, with the Thiagarajans’ support. Both Harper and Jay said these gatherings are important to many students on campus, and Jay called it an “amazing opportunity.”
The Thursday luncheon is open to everyone to enjoy as a home to all faiths. The Thiagarajans said all students are a “gift” to the campus. Ramani said she feels blessed to be working with them.
“This university has been faithful to its call … we are so grateful for Hendricks Chapel, and Syracuse University, for bringing us all together,” Suresh said. “I have connected with (students and staff) in different places, and in that way, I have been blessed with new beginnings.”
