When it comes right down to it, Kimmel is a triple threat. You have thejunk food capital of the campus with its KFC and Burger King selections, as well as a dorm and a computer cluster. Think what this means. It is the only building on campus where you can order a burrito, check your e-mail and hook up in the same place.

Nothing beats Kimmel after a long night out at the bars or a party, and the entertainment factor of watching other people and seeing their ridiculousness can’t be beat anywhere else on campus.

When Junior acting major Zach Messner thinks of Kimmel, he remembers when he bought two car loads worth of food. It was the last day of the semester, and Messner had more money left on his SUpercard than he knew what to do with. After buying food for everyone in the immediate area, he bought out all the baked goods at Dunkin’ Donuts. Then went to the chips – he bought so many a manager had to take him in the back to get more.

‘This one girl thought I was hitting on her when I offered to buy her food, but I just had a lot of money,’ Messner said.

Where else on campus could you do anything nearly as sweet as ordering a round of fast food for everyone in the place?

Messner is still a regular at Kimmel, visiting at least once a day. He doesn’t have a meal plan, so Kimmel suffices for most of his meals.

When he thinks of Kimmel, there is just one improvement he wants to see.

‘I have never had the stirfry, nor do I ever see anyone else get the stirfry,’ he said.

But Messner has a solution: Subway. Subway would make Kimmel unstoppable.

Rachel Trippet has experienced Kimmel like Messner and many of the rest of us can only dream of. The sophomore international relations and chemistry major lives in Kimmel, and her SUpercard can prove it. She has replenished it three times, with $150, $100 and $50 respectively.

‘It’s a change of scenery from eating at the dining halls every night,’ she said.

While some go to the Kimmel for the junk food, Trippet said the vegetables, such as carrots, are far superior at Kimmel.

‘The fact that you can get a taco for 89 cents is amazing,’ said Erin McLoughlin, a sophomore biology major.

McLoughlin said it is ironic that the healthy food, like the sandwiches, are so expensive, but she is not complaining. She also likes the non-dining hall feeling.

‘It makes you feel like you are somewhere special,’ she said.

For months now, Kimmel food court has been the only thing keeping me alive. My steady diet of Mountain Dew and burritos has secured a special place in my heart for that magical corner of Comstock, even though they charge me a random and arbitrary amount every time I buy the same thing.

But despite the fact that it houses the three basic needs of human existence – Taco Bell, a computer lab and a coed-by-floor residence hall – Kimmel only accounts for 48 percent of Syracuse University’s sweetness. So the winner of my ‘best place’ award is Kimmel’s only worthy competitor: everywhere else on campus – combined.

If we could somehow gerrymander People’s Place, Panasci Lounge and that mat in the gym where the girls stretch, we’d have enough firepower to lure students away from the luscious aroma of pizza that has been burned, reheated and served in a triangular box.

‘I think I’ve thrown up from the food at Kimmel before,’ said Kevin Maley, a junior political science major.

No kidding, Kev. It’s always delicious at 1 a.m., but my Triple Crunch Zinger intake haunts me every time I visit the gym to check out the mat.

Maley recounted other negative Kimmel experiences, like the time Public Safety thwarted his drunken attempt to steal a slice of pizza that he stuffed in his shirt.

‘One of them grabbed me, and the pizza fell out,’ he said.

Yesterday Maley chilled at the less vomit-inducing Panasci Lounge, perched atop the Schine Student Center. It’s a cleaner, quieter and more comfortable place to hang out between classes.

‘Look at this, there’s a nice little fireplace,’ said Alexa Ainsworth, a sophomore broadcast journalism major, as she admired the dcor from her plush leather chair. All around her, students napped, flipped through textbooks and sipped Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.

But at People’s Place, the independent coffee shop in the basement of Hendricks Chapel, the corporate logos that brand Schine’s beverages are nowhere to be found. It’s small and quaint, but it’s cool because they don’t take SUpercard, don’t sell Pepsi and don’t make a profit.

‘We donate all the tips to children’s charities,’ said Amy Freyermuth, a junior political science major who just started her second semester at People’s Place. For her lunch break, she grabbed one of the shop’s Rockin’ Wraps, packed with veggies and tofu. People’s Place patrons are environmentalists and activists, which means their snacks are healthier and cheaper than those of the corporate whores at Kimmel.

‘I was downing Whoppers,’ junior acting major Ross Gallo said of his death-defying Kimmel habits. He’s tired to cut back lately, but by last summer the damage was already done. He had gained 20 pounds in one semester.

‘The beer didn’t help either,’ he said. ‘But I think it’s mostly the Kimmel.’

Published on January 19, 2005 at 12:00 pm